Trump Ding Dong Ditched Merkel at Latest G7 Summit

Mess with the bull, and you’re going to get the horns, Merkel…

A day after German head of state Angela Merkel told reporters she didn’t believe the European Union could rely on the United States anymore, Donald Trump personally took to defending himself and his country’s honor.

After having completely dismantled Merkel’s argument in a single tweet, Trump decided to go a step further. Seeing as the next day he found himself just 60 feet away from Merkel in in a hotel reserved for G7 leaders, Trump used the chance to execute a much more clever form of revenge.

On the first night of the leaders summit, Trump waited until roughly 10:30 pm, when he assumed Merkel would be asleep, before he crept out of his room and headed down the hall to find her.

Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe claims he was going to visit the hotel bar, when he noticed Trump acting suspicious in the hallway. Abe watched in confusion as Trump skipped over to Merkel’s door, pressed the doorbell with his finger, and proceeded to sprint back to his room and slam the door.

Trump was reportedly too caught up with being sneaky that he didn’t notice Abe watching at one end of the hall, nor did he notice Canadian leader Justin Trudeau nor new French leader Emmanuel Macron, both of whom, Abe says, were also present in the hall.

Abe isn’t sure if either Trudeau or Macron saw the incident, as he says that the two were bonding over an Italian vending machine together, and that “their eyes were as red as the tie draped over Trump’s shirtless body.”

Donald Trump has since denied the ditch, saying he would “never ding dong ditch Germany” and that he doesn’t know why Abe would make up such a lie. Trump added, “If I wanted to ding dong ditch you, you’d be getting more than just a little doorbell ring, if you know what I mean…”

It’s certain that whether he did it or not, Trump won’t be letting the G7 or anyone else push him around. This time it was just a doorbell, but if Merkel or Abe keep stepping out of line, next time the option could very well be ‘nuclear’.