Trump to Post Nudes of Senators

Trump to Post Nudes of Women Senators Against Obamacare Repeal

If you are A: a Republican senator and B: not supporting the GOP’s current attempts to repeal Obamacare, you had best hope you have a pretty decent beach bod.

Donald Trump, standing before dozens of Republican senators at a Republican lunch event in the White House early Wednesday, threatened to release nudes of senators whom have publicly come out against their party’s own plan to repeal Obamacare.

“To the senators who have come out and declared they would and will vote no on repealing Obamacare, and anyone who might be considering it. Yes, I’m talking to you Shelley Capito, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and even you too Rob Portman. The fact is I have tapes, pornographic tapes, of each and every one of you. I mean for some of it we’re talking real vile screenshots here folks. Rob, to tell you the truth, you probably don’t have to worry, because I don’t think anyone wants to see that anyway. But for all you other supposedly ‘well educated’ and ‘lady-like senators’, none of you seem to have been particularly smart with your choices.

It isn’t yet clear exactly what the content depicts or even in what format it exists, as Trump referenced both “tapes” and “screenshots” in his statement. It’s thus fair to expect anything from some artistic nude glamour shots, to complete hardcore pornography.

When asked to comment on the alleged pornographic footage, Senator Capito of West Virginia said there existed no such content and stated that it was all a complete fabrication. Meanwhile journalists were given “no comments” from the offices for Senator Collins of Maine and Senator Murkowski of Alaska.

Trump went on to add that his decision to publish the content is not set in stone, and that these lady senators could still redeem themselves if they announce they have changed their minds, and decide to repeal when it reaches a vote.

The president also stated that if he chooses to release the photos, that he might offer exclusive publishing rights to the Washington Post or The New York Times, as a small token of good faith towards the undeserving fake liberal press.

And if the nudes are eventually published, don’t get too excited. The average age amongst these three long-time politicians is 62.

(Unless, of course, you have a thing for old liberal Republicans who’ve gone and abandoned their party, president, and country.)