Height of Jared Kushner on full display as he meets Barack Obama

Height of Jared Kushner Used In Collusion Defence, ‘Too tall to collude’

Let’s face it. Tall people are better, and they usually deserve better. They’re more athletic, they can reach more things, can take longer strides etc… All this to say that when you see someone standing nearby at 6ft 3in or taller, you had best show them the respect they deserve.

This is the understandable gripe Jared Kushner had when speaking with the press after his 2 hour closed door senate meeting on Monday, where the president’s son-in-law had been questioned for his role in a liberal driven Trump/Russia collusion conspiracy.

Kushner, who is notably upset with reporters and the fake media for their continuous hounding of him amid false accusations of Russian collusion, spoke bluntly with journalists waiting outside the White House.

“All of my actions were proper and occurred in the normal course of events of a very unique campaign. I did not collude with Russians, nor do I know of anyone in the campaign who did.

To be perfectly honest with all of you, I think I should be getting treated with more respect. I mean, do you actually think I would collude. Have you guys noticed my height? Why on Earth would a handsome man at 6 foot 3 break the law, cheat during an election, and intentionally help a foreign government. That’s not how you stay on top. I’m too damn tall to collude.”

“I’m 6 foot fucking 3!”, Kushner continued to berate as the media watched. “You think I would throw it all away for something dumb? Just to help Russia? Give up the White House, Ivanka, President Trump? While at 6 foot 3? You’re all insane.

The media needs to stop treating me like some sort of colluding hunchbacked Russian mole, and recognize me like the kind-hearted and tall American business man I’ve been.”

This is not the first time that the height of Jared Kushner has been a focus in the media. Rumors swirled back when former FBI director James Comey was fired that the firing may have been related to Comey’s massive 6ft 8in height. Word out of the White House at the time was that Kushner and President Trump, whom both hover between 6’2″ and 6’3″, had grown tired and envious of Comey’s height, and that this played a key factor in the snap decision to fire him.

So if you’re reading this and are a member of the lamestream media, please, lay off our buddy Kushner for a while. Why not lay your heads low and do some stories on short Hilary and her stubby legs instead.