Mosquitos and the weather are to blame for Charlottesville...

Blame For Charlottesville Equally Due to Bugs and Weather, Says Trump

If you thought this weekend’s violence in Charlottesville was the result of antagonization on two sides, you’d be wrong. While Trump had initially denounced and blamed bad actors on both the right and the left for violent protests that left one liberal dead, the president has now said that there are in fact further parties who should equally share responsibility.

Trump and the White House released a statement today stating that in addition to right and left protestors, mosquitoes and high humidity can be largely to blame for Charlottesville’s violent protest.

“While this weekend’s actions in Charlottesville remind us of how great the freedom of expression is in our country, it also reminds us that not every one is interested in working towards a peaceful and unified society. Reports from the Virginia Department of Conservation and Recreation indicated that this weekend saw a record number of mosquitoes as well dangerously high rates of humidity, and that these elements had been antagonizing protestors.

People came out in this beautiful American town to make an argument about their political values, then they start getting roughed up by bugs and by the sun, it would make any person agitated, it’s tough to blame any of them…”

Trump went on to say that it seemed like culpability should be shared evenly amongst these factors, and that “liberals, conservatives, bugs, and republicans all deserve about an equal quarter of the blame”.

One liberal protestor was killed after being run over by a car during the protests, and the accused Nazi-sympathizer has been charged and is currently in jail with no chance of bail.

Trump has said that it is important to investigate all factors in this case, and to make sure that neither the attacker nor the victim had been overly influenced by either of the other parties involved, be it each other, the mosquitos or the weather.

“We will get to the bottom of this. Whether it was maniacs on the right, maniacs on the left, or just simply due to mother nature, we will restore order and stop the unrest that’s been dividing our country.”


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