Trump to Replace Confederate Statues with himself and Putin

Trump To Replace Confederate Statues with Himself, Putin, Other Leaders

Overnight the city of Baltimore, under pressure from the fake news media, removed all four of its confederate statues after a unanimous and secretly held vote by city council. Many people are upset with this move, BUT THEY SHOULDN’T BE, for what’s set to replace the monuments sounds just as good.

President Trump spoke with the media this morning and was asked about Baltimore’s impromptu decision to remove the statues.

It was yesterday where Trump defended such statues following a speech in New York City on infrastructure, and said that there were simply too many great slave owners, like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, for us to care about this issue.

“Personally, I think it’s terrible, and kind of gutless how they did it in Baltimore, without even consulting the community, in the night like thieves.

Fortunately I’ve got some incredibly smart people on my team that are working with those cities on what we can do, and to help them replace confederate statues. We’re thinking that if so many people, especially on the left, hate the past so much, than why not bring our monuments into the present day, where everything actually matters!

That’s why we’re in the process of building several truly spectacular President Trump statues as replacements, along with statues for other fantastic and great leaders from around the world who are seen as modern day role models.

The cities hosting these new statues will have all their costs absorbed by the federal government, and we will make sure they get something extra nice as well.

You’re going to be seeing a lot of me. A lot Vladimir Putin I’d imagine. Not because of any sort of fake news Russia type thing, but that he’s a good and beloved leader. And I think Shinzo Abe because he’s a funny guy, so he’ll get some statues too.

Any other world leaders watching this be extra nice to me and maybe you can get one too…”

Trump’s plans to replace confederate statues is expected to be welcomed on all sides. You might hear some complaints from fake news when they see Trump and Putin statues everywhere, but that should blow over pretty quickly, just like everything else.

Maybe they could get a Hilary statue built inside of a jail or something?