If you’re a resident of Florida in one of the evacuation zones who hasn’t been scared off by Hurricane Irma yet, President Trump may have the solution; Hurricane ISIS.
Trump announced today that going forward, Hurricane Irma shall hence be referred to as Hurricane ISIS, as the president unveiled an official new White House campaign to “Dehumanize Natural Disasters”.
Trump recently commented on Hurricane Harvey saying it had a “deceptively innocent” name, something which could influence some residents to stay in their homes even when warned that it’s dangerous.
One woman who had to be rescued from her destroyed Texas home said she thought the name “Harvey” sounded cute and inviting. She was quoted two days before the storm struck saying,
“I don’t know what the fake news is saying but imma stick around to meet Harvey, ya’ll feel? I’m old enough to meet who I want.”
Trump says that, going forward, all hurricanes must be named after a terrorist or a terrorist group, to better suit their brutal and ruthless natures. Hurricanes shall continue on with their existing alphabetical naming scheme, although 90% of all hurricanes will be named after muslim terrorists to “give the most accurate depiction of the USA’s terrorist climate“.
Although Trump has no influence on what other countries choose to call these disasters, he said that adopting the new US format would be “in their best interests”.
After Hurricane ISIS, parts of the USA will also be at great risk from Hurricane Jaffar (terrorist from Aladdin), formerly known as Hurricane Jose, then departing the Islamic theme will be Hurricane KKK, formerly Hurricane Katia.
Donald Trump told reporters following the announcement,
“Yesterday we were all talking about Harvey, Jose and Katia. This isn’t a dinner party, this is real natural terrorist stuff. That’s why today we’re talking about ISIS, Jaffar, and the KKK. I think what we’re doing is saving lives, and condemning hate. Everyone should support this.”
If ISIS, Jaffar, and the KKK can’t get people to take these hurricanes seriously, then nothing will.