What if forgiveness also meant an extra $300 billion in free revenue for the federal government?
Donald Trump revealed today his administration’s plans for what they are calling “Amnesty Convention 2017” or “Amnesty Con”, an event to be held on December 1st of this year at Madison Square Garden, where the president will pardon up to 15,000 individual Americans of their crimes in exchange for a $20,000,000 / ticket cost.
Trump told reporters he’s decided to make the move in response to recent harsh media coverage from Fox News and Breitbart, who have gone as far as to label Trump with the nickname “Amnesty Don” amid rumors he plans to grant all 800,000 illegally undocumented DACA recipients amnesty and legal status.
“If they want to call me Amnesty Don, frankly I’m fine with it. There’s nothing wrong with amnesty if you’re using it for a greater good. It’s the president’s right. They’re already calling me ‘Amnesty Don’? I say, why not run with this? How can I help this country even more with our amnesty power?
A few smart nuts on our team came up with the idea for an “amnesty rally”. We’re going to raise a lot of money and do a lot of good I’ll tell ya, probably like nothing we’ve ever seen.”
Trump’s team says anyone who has ever been charged with a crime, or is currently serving a sentence, can buy a ticket for this event and be granted amnesty, as long as their crime wasn’t murder.
“It’s fantastic really. We’re giving people a second chance, now most of these people are going to be decent rich people who you can trust for the most part and just got tangled up in some sort of mess. If they’ve got the $20 million and manage to buy a ticket, they’re in. If they’re in jail and obtain a ticket, they may be granted leave to attend.
In the end this event will raise $300 billion dollars for our government. We could destroy seven ISIS’es with that money. Or is it ISIes? We could build a supermax prison on the moon for Hilary Clinton and fake news with that money. We could build walls with Mexico higher than the eye can see with that money!
And all this happens when I give 15,000 rich guys another chance, who were surely going to find some other loophole anyways.
A White House spokesman confirmed Trump will use the opportunity to grant himself and his campaign team amnesty from any sort of charges relating to the 2016 election that investigators may try to lay on them, in an attempt to “clear the air of unnecessary distractions”.
Trump, who took a lot of flack from the mainstream media for pardoning Sheriff Joe Arpaio, sensibly wants to try and get it all his pardoning done in one fell swoop.
Donald Trump isn’t new to genius fundraising schemes either. It was just a few months ago he thought of a plan that would keep Obamacare but nearly get the United States out of its massive debt hole.