Trump Depoliticize Tragedy Executive Order

Trump Announces Executive Order To ‘Depoliticize Tragedy’ In Wake of Vegas Attack

In response to several comments by liberals and anti-gun advocates following yesterday’s tragedy in Las Vegas, Donald Trump has revealed how he plans to help in the healing process.

President Trump has announced an executive order stating that henceforth, whenever there occurs some sort of tragedy or disaster resulting in the death of five or more Americans, congress must wait a minimum of eight months before proposing any bill that could be seen as specifically related to said tragedy.

The order is being referred to as, “The Executive Order to Depoliticize Tragedy & Make America Great Again”.

For example, with this Las Vegas case, democrats won’t be able to suggest new anti-gun bills until the beginning of June 2018 at the earliest.

Trump said that the executive order is desperately needed to ensure that the dead are being respected and that Washington doesn’t “turn into a circus”.

“It’s gross whenever these gun attacks happen and liberals try to relate them to gun laws. We don’t enact cutlery laws everytime I accidentally stab my tongue with a fork.

It’s my job as president to ensure the government never does anything too rash. I won’t let Hilary run in and grab your guns just because a couple hundred people may get shot to death in our country on any given week.”

The wording of the order means it will also have an impact on recent deadly hurricanes, and attempts from the left to blame them on climate change. Since Hurricane Maria killed upwards of 16 people, it will be at least another 8 months until democrats can propose any law changes relating to global warming.

“We simply can’t continue to allow crooked politicians to capitalize off tragic losses of American life. With my executive order, it will take 8 months without any serious shootings to enact some sort of gun law. Or 8 months without a hurricane to pass a hurricane law. That means that when the democrat or whoever comes to the table, they won’t be all riled up, they’ll be coming to the debate with a cool head, which obviously, I would know, is important in deal-making.

Since major shootings happen in the US all the time, let alone every eight months, it seems Trump has made sure our guns should be real safe for quite a while…