There’s no doubt that Vice President Pence is an American.
Mike Pence was spotted grabbing a quick lunch at a local D.C. McDonald’s this Columbus Day, where his hunger quickly turned to hatred after he found the restaurant’s employees were being disrespectful to America’s flag and its troops.
Vice President Pence reportedly specified that his Big Mac be prepared “in the style of the American flag”, the same way the VP likes it prepared whenever he has burgers brought in for him at the White House.
Witnesses say that one of Pence’s assistants thoroughly clarified to the McDonald’s employees how the burger was to be made.
“He was telling them to use lettuce for the stripes, and Mac Sauce for the flag’s stars and outline. They made it very clear how he wanted it done, very clear. Pence was already sitting down with secret service waiting for his meal.”
When Pence received his burger, the look on his face turned to anger and disgust as he unwrapped it and looked upon what he described out loud as, “borderline treasonous”.
Before quitting the restaurant and throwing his meal in the trash, Pence reportedly pushed his way through swaths of onlookers whom had gathered in the lobby, and had the restaurant manager bring up the 14 year old brown girl who had been responsible for preparing his meal.
“Now look girl, all right.” Pence said. “What I see here is some piled up lettuce and sauce that is smeared around like a normal Big Mac. So did you do this because you hate your country or because you want to get fired, because to me it seems like both. You’re just a kid and already you’re actively trying to disrespect this country and its troops.”
The girl began to cry as Pence and his entourage exited the McDonald’s and went to a five star restaurant down the street, where it turns out Pence already had reservations.
This comes just one day after Vice President Pence attended and then immediately walked out of an NFL game because something there had also offended himself, the country, and its troops.